so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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