she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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