im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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