Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
