He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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