ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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