I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Four minutes until I can fart!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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