I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
