also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
