I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
