Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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