Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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