You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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