I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
