Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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