Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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