do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
