This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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