remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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