I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
