I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Do you have feelings for this penis?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
