hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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