i think my tv is drunk
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I can't turn off my feet"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize