I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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