I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
