Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
