I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
