"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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