I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
