I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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