How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
