ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
id be glad to
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
