seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
