are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
