what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
