someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
