she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
