when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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