Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
