I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
