when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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