she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
nutella sex= disaster
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
