i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
