I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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