So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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