You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
