i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
