He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
