talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize