have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
