dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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