Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
