I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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