i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
