Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
