I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
