how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
