girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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