a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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