i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
The air taste purple.
Randomize
