Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
