whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
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